


Lab Experiment

by mithrel



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Blanket Permission, Companionable Snark, Dogs, Gen, Podfic Welcome, Vacation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-25
Updated: 2011-09-25
Packaged: 2017-10-30 03:33:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/327291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mithrel/pseuds/mithrel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rodney’s subjected to John’s dog on leave, and he objects strenuously.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lab Experiment

John had managed to persuade him to stay at his house when they were on leave, but Rodney’s not expecting _this._

As soon as John opens the door, a black blur nearly bowls him over. John laughs and drops to his knees, ruffling its ears. “Sulu! How ya doing, boy!”

Rodney stares at the mutt licking John’s face. “You have a dog.”

“Yeah,” John says, not really paying attention to him, too busy making goofy faces at the dog.

“You have a _dog._ ” Rodney repeats.

John looks up at him for the first time. “So?” he says as the dog looks up at Rodney’s voice, and without warning, jumps on him.

“Argh! Get down you mongrel!” Rodney yells.

“Rodney,” John says reproachfully, then, “Sulu, down!”

The idiot animal immediately plants all its feet on the floor, wagging its tail and grinning stupidly at John.

“He’s actually really well trained, he just doesn’t know you,” John explains. “Sulu, sit.”

The dog’s butt hits the floor like it’s magnetized.

John smiles. “Good boy. Sulu, this is my friend Rodney. Shake hands!”

Rodney stares blankly at the paw held out to him.

“Well?” Sheppard says, with a perfectly straight face that doesn’t hide the smirk in his eyes. “I have to introduce you.”

And so Rodney shakes hands with a dog, feeling utterly ridiculous.

***

“Did you just leave him here all this time?” Rodney asks, when they’re sitting down, the dog curled up in a basket in the corner.

“God, no! One of my old college buddies was looking after him. I had the SGC call him, tell him I was on leave for awhile. He dropped him off.”

“Oh.” Of course it makes sense John wouldn’t just leave him alone. Rodney feels a pang for Tesla, left with his neighbor. He knows it’s likely he’ll never get him back.

“So why, _Sulu?_ ” Rodney asks, as the dog looks up at the sound of his name.

“Are you kidding? Sulu was badass!”

Rodney shakes his head fondly. Figures John “Flyboy” Sheppard would name his dog after the one pilot on _Star Trek._

“So I take it you’re not a dog person,” Sheppard continues.

“No,” Rodney says tightly. “I’m not.”

“I knew you had a cat, but–”

“Cats are infinitely superior to dogs,” Rodney says. “They’re self-sufficient. All you have to do is feed them. They bathe themselves, you can even teach them to use the toilet.”

“Exactly. They don’t need you; there’s no reason for them to bother with you if they don’t want something. With a dog, you’ve got loyalty, protection–”

“Accidents, destruction of property…” Rodney adds, and John scowls at him.

“I need to go check the grill,” John says, and Rodney snorts, because of course he insisted on having a _barbecue._

***

While Rodney’s cutting up his steak, he feels a weight on his leg, and something starts to soak through his pants.

“Ugh, yukh! Can you please tell this fleabag to keep his germs to himself?”

John ignores him, and goes on eating.

“Shoo!” Rodney says, trying to shove the dog’s head off his lap. He won’t budge. “Go away! Scat!”

“Sulu, down,” John says, pointing to the basket in the corner. Sulu whines, but he goes.

“How come he only listens to you?” Rodney demands.

“I’m the alpha,” John replies carelessly.

“Another reason to prefer cats. They don’t have a pack mentality.”

John ignores him again.

***

Sulu follows John into his bedroom, thank goodness, and leaves Rodney alone.

It takes him awhile to fall asleep in the strange place, but he eventually drifts off.

He’s woken up by the mattress heaving, and a weight next to him.

“What the–”

He’s cut off by a tongue bathing his face.

“AAAARGH!” Rodney yells so loudly that he’s amazed John doesn’t barge in, demanding to know who’s murdering him.

The dog cocks its head at him idiotically. One of its floppy ears turns inside out.

Rodney shoves at him. “Go away! Go sleep with Sheppard!”

The mutt just looks at him.

“Down!” Rodney says imperiously, pointing at the floor.

The dog puts his head down and _whuff_ s in his ear.

After considerable maneuvering, and protests from the dog, he manages to get him sprawled over his feet, and can’t get him to move any further.

Rodney sighs and tries to get back to sleep.

***

When he wakes up, the dog’s gone, and he resolves to close his door from now on.

After breakfast, John takes out a leash. Sulu’s ears immediately perk up, and he jumps on John, wagging his tail.

“Down, sit!” he says, laughing, and Sulu sits, letting John clip on the leash, then runs to the door.

“Coming, Rodney?”

“Where are we going?” Rodney asks suspiciously.

“To the lake. C’mon.”

They get in John’s SUV and drive for about ten minutes. When they get out, they’re at a good-sized park, with a playground, picnic tables, and a large pond in the middle, complete with ducks.

John lets Sulu off the leash, and he makes a beeline for the lake.

“Won’t he run away?” Rodney asks, illogical panic filling him. Not that he gives a damn about the mutt, or any dog, but he knows what John’s reaction will be if he loses his dog.

“Nope,” John says, puts two fingers in his mouth and gives a piercing whistle. Sulu stops and looks hesitantly at John. John points to his side, and he slinks over.

“Good boy,” John says, squatting down to ruffle his ears. Sulu looks curiously at Rodney.

“Well, carry on,” Rodney says, somewhat stiffly. Sulu barks once, and runs straight into the lake, scattering ducks as he goes.

“He can swim!” Rodney says, amazed.

John rolls his eyes. “Of _course_ he can swim, Rodney. He’s a Lab! The trick is getting them _not_ to swim!”

Rodney shrugs. He doesn’t know anything about dogs, except that he doesn’t like them.

After about ten minutes John whistles again, and Sulu turns around and swims to the bank, then trots over.

He walks right up to Rodney and shakes himself. Rodney yells as he’s pelted with cold water. John, who’d moved several feet away as soon as Sulu got near, laughs at him, and only laughs harder as Sulu leans against him, soaking his jeans, not to mention nearly knocking him over.

“Oh yes, very amusing!” Rodney says, prodding Sulu with his foot. “Shoo, mutt!”

Sulu just grins at him and wags his tail.

“He likes you,” John says, his laughter reduced to a smirk.

“The feeling’s most definitely _not_ mutual,” Rodney snarls.

They wander around the park for awhile. It’s nice, walking with John, even if his jeans are clinging to him. When a wet nose pokes into his hand, Rodney absently strokes the dog’s head. If John notices, he doesn’t say anything.

***

Once they’re back at John’s and Rodney’s changed into dry jeans, they sit down to watch _Star Trek IV._ Sulu stays off the couch, thank goodness. He does sprawl on the floor in front of them, though, his head on Rodney’s foot.

He cocks his ears every time Sulu’s name is mentioned. It’s kind of funny (and Rodney absolutely does _not_ think “cute”).

When the movie is over, John stretches lazily. Rodney shoves Sulu off his foot, wincing at the pins and needles.

He’s tired, so he forgets to close the door.

In the middle of the night, a weight settles at the foot of the bed, but the dog isn’t almost shoving him on the floor this time, so he does his best to ignore it.

When he wakes up, the weight is still there, but when he shifts it vanishes, as Sulu yawns, then galumphs out of the room. Rodney sighs, enjoying the fact that he can actually sleep late, without worrying about the latest crisis destroying the city.

There’s a weight on the side of the mattress. Rodney cocks an eye open, to see that Sulu has laid his head on the mattress. He ignores him.

It’s impossible to ignore the snuffling in his ear, followed by slobber.

“ _Augh,_ go back to hell, spawn of Satan!”

John pokes his head in the door, grinning. “Good morning to you too.” He catches sight of the dog. “Did he sleep with you last night? He wasn’t there when I woke up.”

“Yes, he did. No, I didn’t invite him. Yes, I’d like to be left in peace for once.”

John slaps his side lightly, and closes the door behind the two of them, letting Rodney sleep for another hour.

***

The last day of their leave comes, and John calls his friend who was dog-sitting.

When he shows up at the door Sulu greets him politely, but looks at John and whines.

John walks over to him and ruffles his fur. Sulu rolls over, and John sighs, sitting on the floor and scratching his stomach. “It’s only for awhile, boy. I’ll be back as soon as I can. You’ll be good for Uncle Mickey, won’t you?”

Sulu thumps his tail on the floor.

Rodney’s standing there, not sure what to do, when Sulu comes over, sits in front of him, and solemnly holds out his paw.

Swallowing with difficulty, Rodney shakes hands with him, then drops to the floor and hugs him for a moment.

John clips on the leash, and Sulu and Mickey leave.

Rodney gets up off the floor, not looking at John. “Don’t say it.”

“I wasn’t gonna say anything!” John lies.

“Well, don’t.”

John sighs. “Guess we should get packed, huh?”

Rodney nods, almost sighing too. “Yeah, guess so.”


End file.
